The hiss that followed the sharp “pop” was unmistakable. Another tube punctured. Damn. I’m down to one spare. I’d better turn around and head home. That makes 5 in 5 days. I haven’t even worked up a sweat yet. Oh well. It figures.

I can feel my body going limp…giving in to wave after wave of psychic “why bothers” that are the Cylons attacking my psyche’s Battlestar Galactica. I am losing the battle today. Morale and ammo are low.

The makeshift repairs to the starboard engine pod are failing. How the frak can there BE so many Cylons…why-bothers…whybots!? They are a pitiless, remorseless scourge. Closing my eyes, I let the black void pull at me. It’s high tide in oblivion. That back maw, a portal to the black moon that sucks at my skin like a leech, pulling at my fluid. Black. Dark. Lifeless. Emotional bleedout.

Letting my head hang lifeless for a brief moment of self pity and acknowledgement of cosmic bullying before changing the flat, a wildflower by the side of the road catches my eye. Partially covered in decomposing asphalt and the detritus of roadside low tide, the flower’s beauty penetrates me. It startles me. It wakes me up.

Five flats in five days. Dumb ass. There’s something else going on here. Wake up!

I took a few minutes to carefully scan the tire at the spot where the tube was punctured. Sure enough – a good sized slice in the tire – just perfect for rock after rock to climb inside and do some damage no matter how many tubes I replace. I have been solving the wrong problem.

The moral of the story…well…I think it’s pretty clear. The secret weapon against WhyBots is the WhyNotBot. Unlike WhyBots which run on dark fuel, the WhyNotBot thrives in the crystal clear light of attention to the present moment. “Why is this happening to me?” transforms into “Why wouldn’t this be happening to me?” Cosmic whining or paying attention?

Hope creeps back into my mind. I’m not helpless. I’m on my last tube, but even if it fails, I understand what I must do to get back on the road – the physical one and the metaphysical one. A good, long walk with bike in tow won’t be so bad. There are plenty of flowers along the road to enjoy.

There will always be rocks and holes and punctures. But there will also be new tubes and new tires and patch kits and the will to push on – to push up and over the current set of challenges to the next patch of wildflowers just over the hill.

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Filed under Musings, Nature, Writing

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